My Single Change That Worked: How I Conquered Post-Work Tension Through an Unexpected Discovery in the Loft

One frequently become like a coiled spring once the workday ends. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Typically, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Then, a few months ago, I came across an old school recorder belonging to my grown son up in the loft. Curious, I blew into it, immediately transported back to the days when it drove me crazy – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind hours after he had gone to bed.

Instead of throwing it away, I took it down, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. As a child, I was the least musical child ever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I persevered – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I was overjoyed. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my timing is rubbish, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and how it clears my mind while playing.

I learned that few kids play the recorder today, which probably relieves parents, yet it made me wistful for my school years, and my son’s childhood.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work before I do anything else, and in those 20 or so minutes, I escape into my own realm. And afterwards, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s truly an ode to joy.